23 March, 2009

color me whiney

what happened to the revolution?

I really want a doula at my birth, but...

I really want a natural birth, but...

I really want a VBAC, but...

I really want a homebirth, but...

Someone once said "There is no 'but' that is not followed by an excuse."

Really wish people would say what they feel, and do what they want. And take some responsibility for their choices. Like this:

I want to have an epidural and feel absolutely no pain from the very first twinge of a contraction.

I don't want a doula at my birth, I just went through the motions of looking for one because my girlfriends all hired doulas.

I do want a doula but my doctor's practice doesn't work with doulas and I don't want to rock the boat or look more closely at why the practice is so unfriendly to labor support, because that would mean looking more closely at myself.

I don't want to try to have a VBAC because it is scary and feels out of control; I'd rather live through a predictable, familiar process than try something new and fail. or try something new and succeed. And I don't really trust my body but I am too afraid to say so.

I don't want a homebirth because it's too much pressure and I do honestly feel safer in the hospital, and gee how silly I was when I, a grown woman, said "I do want a homebirth but my husband won't let me."

I know I said my doctor pressured me into the c-section, but honestly I was so tired of being in labor that I didn't want to struggle any more. It was nice to know it would all be over soon and I would get to hold my baby.

I know I said my doctor made me get induced but I really was done being pregnant and impatient waiting for labor to begin.

Once we start to speak honestly about our birth choices, when the facades fall away, then the revolution can get back on track. There are very few women holding the threads of honest birthing. Whatever their choices may be, when they are made authentically, I salute them .

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Awesome post!