02 June, 2009

true stories

from my night at ye olde corporate healthe foode store:

Very annoying lady with whom I have spent the last 20 minutes approaches me for "one last question". The kind of customer who asks me to read to her how many tablets are in each bottle, which colloidal silver is strongest, how many ounces are in each bottle and which is a better buy per ounce, and which book on Acid-Alkaline Theory I suggest she purchase. Until I reveal I think that theory holds no water.

Now she holds two cartons of cookies.

"Which one of these should I get?"

"I don't know, what do you like?"

"Well, I'm a diabetic."

"Then you probably shouldn't be eating cookies."

"Oh it's ok, I take insulin. But see here this one says Spelt."

"Spelt is a relative of wheat. Some people eat it because they digest it better than wheat."

"So it's for digestion."

"Well, it's a grain..."

2. Phone call with a male caller:

"I wanted to ask you if I can take some things together."

"Sure, what are you taking?"

"Advanced Enzyme complex. and these probiotics, it says 'Aci...' I can't pronounce it."


"Yeah, that's it."

"Those two should be fine together."

"No, I want to know if I can take them with something else."

"With what?"

"Flintstones vitamins; I take them for energy."

I kept wondering if it was a prank call.

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